Monday, April 9, 2012

Re-introduction


I have decided that I really like blogging.  It has slowly turned from an assignment in English class to something that I legitimately enjoy doing.  I feel as if it is a way to let everyone know what I’m doing and where I am in life without having one of those awkward phone conversations where you ramble on about what’s important in your life, knowing the other person isn’t listening.  I know that I did a brief introduction discussing why I love food, but despite my undying love of it, there are more important aspects of my life.  This is my way of letting you all know who I am away from my passion of food.
            First of all, let me begin with what is most important to me.  The most important thing to me is my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  My number one goal in life is to constantly be searching for how God can use me to fit His overall plan.  I have dedicated my life to Him, and I am trying to better myself and reflect God’s will for me.  Unfortunately, it has not always been this way.  I grew up going to church every Sunday, doodling in the bulletin, and planning what I was going to eat for lunch that afternoon.  My life was pretty perfect and the only thing I worried about was how many cosmic brownies we had left in the kitchen.  Right before my eleventh birthday all of that changed.  It was around this time that God placed a few events in my life that I was not ready for, that nobody could be ready for.  I found out that my grandfather only had a few more days left to live after suffering from congestive heart failure, and I found out that my mother had cancer.  Since I was just a kid, no one ever outright told me that my mom had cancer, but I knew that she had to keep going to the hospital and that something wasn’t right.  Once I found out that she had cancer, I started doing worse and worse in school.  I was so confused.  How was I supposed to focus on who killed who in the War of 1812, when I knew my mother was going in for radiation therapy that day.  My teacher kept asking me what was wrong, but when I went to tell her, nothing came out.  I felt like God had left me alone and didn’t care about me anymore.  I stopped going to church and decided that it would be best to still believe in God, not because I thought he was real, but because Hell sounded awful and I didn’t want to go.  This state of my life continued for almost eight years.  Once I arrived in Clemson, one of my friends, Biff, asked me to go to FCA.  I had no idea what FCA was, but it sounded like fun so I decided to go.  I had a great time and decided to go back the next week, and the next week, and the next week.  Then it all caught up to me.  I don’t remember what song was being sung, who the speaker was, or what the speaker was talking about.  All I remember is looking around at 800 people screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs and I felt a shiver go down my spine.  It was as if my love of God was grabbing a hold of my spine and telling me, “I never left, I’ve been with you the whole time.”  It was this point in my life that I decided that I couldn’t expect anyone to change my life for me, it was my responsibility.  This moment, to me, felt like walking outside for the first time in a while.  It was that feeling you get when you’ve been in the bottom floor of the library working on a paper for 12 hours straight, and after you email it to your professor you make that climb up the stairs and out the door.  Once you take that first step out of the shadow and into the sun, you feel free.  All you can thing about is how great the sun feels.  Rediscovering my love for Christ was my “walking into the sun” moment.  I now realize that God put those adversities in my life to wake me up, to make me realize why I was put on this Earth.  While I do miss my grandfather, I can see myself turning into him more and more each and every day.  My mother has been cancer free for years now and loves spending time with all of her grandbabies!
            The second most important thing to me is my family and friends.  I have a rather large family and they can definitely drive me crazy, but I know that each and every one of them would be there in a heartbeat if I needed them for something.  I can point out how each of my family members has helped shape who I am today and wouldn’t trade any of them for the world.  I also love spending time with my wonderful girlfriend.  She came into my life in what some would call an awkward situation.  She is the little sister of my best friend.  She and I had slowly gotten to know each other after spending time with his family.  She would always play God of War, throw football, and hang out with us after we got off of work.  I loved hanging out with her, but knew it was against the rules to date your friend’s younger sister.  It wasn’t until years later that I asked my friend if it would be okay if I asked his sister out on a date.  That was definitely the most awkward conversation I have ever had, but ended up being one of the best.  Jessa and I have now been dating for over two and a half years.  She is one of the sweetest and sassiest women I have ever met.  She helps me out if I ever need it, but she also makes sure that I get done what I need to do.
            As of right now, my life is going great.  I am hoping to one day travel to underdeveloped countries and help them set up food processing facilities.  If I can help improve just one person’s life, it will all be worth it to me.  While I would love to jump right into this, I know that I need to gain experience in the food industry before I can accomplish such goals.  I also know that despite the goals I have in life, I could get another curveball thrown at me at any given moment.  Since I cannot prepare for what God has planned for me, I have to be adaptable and be ready for any changes He sends my way.  I look forward to getting to know each and every one of you.  While I may come across as shy and reserved, it’s really just me being awkward.  I really do love meeting new people and learning what their passions are and what they enjoy about life.  I hope that all of you feel as if you know me a little better and I look forward to getting to know you as well.  Thanks for reading!

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